last April I wrote this poem featured in the chapter “Honori..
Added 2022-03-11 20:00:02 +0000 UTClast April I wrote this poem featured in the chapter “Honoring our Bodies” within dis.pone’s book cataloguing QTBIPOC women, non-binary, and gender variant folk. I give my body vulnerably to others for a living through my healing work as a sex worker, but the pieces of myself gifted often leave me feeling lost. sometimes I don’t know who I am without this work. but I’ve committed to knowing that I am my body and what I do with it, how I treat it, how I honor it. have you ever felt your body ? hand on my flesh, not my own, I feel myself feeling felt. conforming, contouring, to the shape of your hand, I feel myself becoming flat. Like a billboard, An advertisement at your service, Repeatedly being looked at, But not really something one pulls over to stop and see. when did my body become a light switch ? wired to turn you on, hearing up for glass container, helping you shine your light, and glow. do you feel yourself when you’re feeling someone else ? when I cannot pinpoint where my outline begins or where it ends, I anchor myself within your parts, your shape as my template. but, when I give myself to you, am I being given to ? when I am stretched too thin, when I am aching form anchoring, who is giving my body what they need ? my body has learned how to be felt, but when the palm in my hand is only my own, do I feel held ? do you know how forgiving your body is ? I’ve learned that sharing is caring, and as I shared, I thought I lost some pieces given away. but even when I neglected boundaries, my body has cared for me and shown that everything I will ever need will always be right here, wherever I am. homeostasis, in my home, I stay, it’s always replenishing, it’s always returning, never petty, only steady. every time I wake, I am back there inside, coming alive within my body. have you ever felt your body ? when you do, you will know that you are here.
