mrs.claus could never
mrs.claus could never
2022-12-15 02:42:09 +0000 UTC View Post
lauraperlongo posts
bit my lip eating a festive cupcake at a Xmas party so Xmas ..
bit my lip eating a festive cupcake at a Xmas party so Xmas is canceled again. bakeries are canceled. taking down my Xmas tree. It’s done. It’s over. Returning all the presents. Canceling plane tickets. not overreacting. 100% not going to change my mind on this.
2022-12-09 16:32:36 +0000 UTC View Postthese are getting outta hand lolol FIVETEEN MINUTES!? i do..
these are getting outta hand lolol FIVETEEN MINUTES!?
i don’t even take my sweatshirt off for 8 mins or mention how I’m not wearing panties the entire time. We’ve gone full wife experience now. FULL WIFE.
Topics covered
- goblin mode
- passport renewal photos
- grinch mode but make it Christmas?
- is anyone having fun?
- ARE YOU HAVING A NICE TIME? 😂
most importantly, IYO how many baked goods can you buy before lying about your “big party later”??? 🫣
❤️❤️❤️
night before thanksgiving outside ur high school crush’s hou..
night before thanksgiving outside ur high school crush’s house like ayeeee…🫣
2022-11-23 21:51:47 +0000 UTC View Post🍂🍃PLANT CARE EPISODE… 6?🍃🍂 hot topics: Plants that look fi..
🍂🍃PLANT CARE EPISODE… 6?🍃🍂
hot topics:
Plants that look fine
ARE NOT FINE
(are kinda fine)
Odd gifts
Time change resolutions ?
Secrets
Saturdays
Sitters
Seventh(?) trimester
…Spirals
The whole thing is a spiral tbh. I’m ur gf.
would get a therapist but they’d probably make me wear pants so here we are
Finished the pull out after the video (pictured). Not bad.
🌱🌱🌱
Every time I try to clean the house it somehow ends up…dirti..
Every time I try to clean the house it somehow ends up…dirtier? 🤭
2022-11-18 20:09:57 +0000 UTC View Post
K real question..should i join a gym where i can flirt or st..
K real question..should i join a gym where i can flirt or stay in here?
2022-11-01 17:44:07 +0000 UTC View Posthappy halloweeeeen 🎃 mom’s version of a good time⚡️⚡️⚡️ (Af..
happy halloweeeeen 🎃
mom’s version of a good time⚡️⚡️⚡️
(After i ate half their candy, duh)
show me your costume or…don’t 😇
🧡🧡🧡
back causin trouble with my baybeeee @lanileenyc 😛 Wanna do..
back causin trouble with my baybeeee @lanileenyc 😛
Wanna do some California dreamin w you ☁️☁️
pov we just worked out for 5 mins n now we gonna snuggle on ..
pov we just worked out for 5 mins n now we gonna snuggle on the balcony 😇😛
2022-09-28 15:21:03 +0000 UTC View Posti can’t believe it’s been a year 🥹
i can’t believe it’s been a year 🥹
2022-09-21 13:50:23 +0000 UTC View Post
yaoooo, just checking in from a bathroom in south carolina. ..
yaoooo, just checking in from a bathroom in south carolina. Footloose n kid free. Taking some time to reflect on all kinds of things and ketchup with some of you here. 🫣
Been getting some inquiries on when I’m doing more proper shoots n i think I’m ready to come clean on why I’ve been dragging my feet on it…
It’s the tits guys. The boooobs. I mean the whole thing but mainly the boobs. For the last 18 months my body felt like a full on costume. First growing and stretching into a cool pregnant S then a postpartum spewing mess of a milk bag and, idk, that stuff felt fun to share bc it wasn’t really mine. It was the product of hormones and milk glands and the year+ carnival that is the pregnancy and postpartum body experience. Some people hate it and get sick on the teacups n others fucking LOVE spinning em extra, riding em hard n fast swirling the wheel w their sticky lil fingers til the lights go out. You can guess which one I am…
So yeah. Fun’s over. All the rides packed up n moved on. No more elephant ears. No more huge milky tits. I got the cutest souvenir ever but here i am faced with a regular boring body experience n there’s no scrambler or Ferris wheel in gd SIGHT.
So yeah, hormones have regulated into regular waves of lady life and the boobs are recognizable again and I’m here in this bathroom as just plain old me. And i like her but maybe I didn’t wanna share her with you out of costume. Maybe the intention was only to invite you to my carnival weekend.
But intentions can start as one thing and show you something else. And in this case highlighting how much of a lil wuss I am. How I only feel worthy of being on the other side of the lens if I’m putting myself through extreme body transformation. How I even was like “should i get a boob job”? to try to keep the carnival goin. But, eh, maybe a carnival is no fun if it’s always in town. Maybe regular body life is also pretty great. Like the sun on your face with a cup of coffee kinda great. Maybe the best kind of great? The real kind.
Sooo…yeah. Ha. Maybe I’m ready to share my actual “normal” self? Ahhh. Why does that feel so strange to me. But yeah ok sure. Let’s do it. Thanks for being here and supporting me and inspiring me to challenge myself and reflect on these experiences. It’s been really fun (and eye opening!)
Have a great week everybody! Talk soon. 🖤🖤🖤
bad lighting, worse content jk it’s just me drinking and o..
bad lighting, worse content
jk it’s just me drinking and only fans confessional-ing. Like church only I’m dressed in skimpy pajamas with no underwear talking to faceless figures through a digital wall (so…yeah exactly like church!) glory hole confessional? hehe
missed yew. 🦋📿💦🕳
a lot to unpack at this week’s watering…🌱
a lot to unpack at this week’s watering…🌱
2022-07-31 01:37:19 +0000 UTC View Post
super sry ‘bout the heat wave 😇
super sry ‘bout the heat wave 😇
2022-07-22 21:49:37 +0000 UTC View Post40 weeks in, 40 weeks out 🥺 So nostalgic which is NOT what ..
40 weeks in, 40 weeks out 🥺
So nostalgic which is NOT what you wanna be when you already have 3 lol 🙈
This summer break has been like every summer break with kids so far. Wildly unpredictable. Sitters falling out left and right (literally one with an unwalkable sprain from chasing a kid in a four wheeler down our driveway 🤦🏻♀️) Illness after illness. Just a mess. Diabolical really. But fuck i love it (not the no help thing- SEND HELP) but mostly if it’s not chaos I don’t want it. Call it Stockholm Syndrome. Plants disagree though. Plants need watering. Plants furious.
3 weekS, 4.5 months and 9.5 months postpartum in the side by side. Lost the plot in that last one, but honestly gonna get pregnant again with this sort of behavior. God what a mess.
hi though miss you. send me things.
steve irwin who? jk tho long live the king 🐊
steve irwin who? jk tho long live the king 🐊
2022-07-14 13:02:19 +0000 UTC View Postpretending I’m the gen Z babysitter for a single dad is my f..
pretending I’m the gen Z babysitter for a single dad is my favorite cosplay 😛😛😏
2022-07-13 20:28:59 +0000 UTC View Postok ok I’m back, what’d i miss?
ok ok I’m back, what’d i miss?
2022-07-07 21:53:43 +0000 UTC View Post
not as saucy as a 10pm watering but these fliessssss mannnn...
not as saucy as a 10pm watering but these fliessssss mannnn. Briefly considered a morning mega pint but kinda need all my faculties to best enjoy that SNAP 🤫😇
Today we got…
Nev ruining everything
VR Segs (?)
Wrinkle-free beds
Ur mom (my mom)
Girls traaaap
Flies on death row (trigger warning!)
Send me ur beds.
Ily ♥️
